So-o-o-o, yesterday was indulgence day. And what a day! For my non-PCP food I chose to have a few pieces of 72% cocoa dark chocolate since that’s basically the only chocolate that I can eat anymore that I don’t have to shop at an obscure health food store to find.
The box comes filled with eighteen bite-sized pieces but to stay within the 400 calorie limit I only ate ten pieces of the chocolate putting my calorie intake at the high end of 300.
The taste? Interesting, to say the least, and not at all like I remember it tasting in the past. After not having eaten anything at all like it for the last thirty days my memory of the stuff was dull and faded, my taste buds unused to the intense chocolate-iness. It was intensely sweet, and at the same time bittersweet, making for an odd combination of tasty sensations bombarding my brain. It was so strong that the first few bites and pieces attacked my mouth, making my tongue and the back of my throat feel like they were burning almost (that from only 72% cocoa, I shudder to think what 85% would do to me...or even 80%).
The first thing that hit me while I was eating was how worried I was that eating even this little bit of chocolate would ruin all of the hard work I’ve done so far for the PCP. Even though I hadn't totally binged on the stuff I felt bad about eating it. I knew at the time that I would only have to work out for, what, a day to get back to where I was but still, it feels like I lost a full day, like I might as well have not exercised for that day instead of eating the chocolate.
The First Noticeable Sensations
About a half hour after I had eaten the chocolate I went to a nearby supermarket to return some moldy bread (by the way, moldy bread is not a nice surprise). Walking through the aisles to find a replacement loaf startled my legs into a frenzy that I haven't felt in...I don't know how long. Certainly not like this, anyway. It seemed that I could literally feel the muscles of my legs underneath my skin twitching and pulsing along to both the rhythm of my heart and, because of the chocolate, the uneven stride I was taking because of the sudden, intense rush of sugar and carbohydrates.
I was zipped, I was wired, I was a hummingbird after a huge meal of flower nectar. It felt like my heart was throwing itself against the inside of my ribcage, turning a lump-lump into a great, resounding BANG-BOOM! There seemed to be a giant inside of my chest beating his way out with his meaty fists, angry at his forced imprisonment. My mind became a young Russell Terrier, starved of attention, in a backyard full of butterflies and young children.
I was atwitter with energy and had nothing to spend it on being stuck in my truck driving to work (which is an amazingly effective depressant when flying high on a stimulant as potent as chocolate).
About an hour after I had eaten the chocolate my heart sped up even more, which seemed to be an unhealthy thing at that point. My heart doesn't usually beat like that unless my brain has just signalled my body to release a massive amount of adrenaline. That's not supposed to happen when you're just sitting around doing nothing but listening to music.
Worry, at that point, overwhelmed me. I had expected some craziness to occur but nothing as great as what actually started happening to me. Weird, troublesome thoughts abounded, "Do I lay down and do nothing until this thing passes?", "Do I check myself into the hospital in case my heart literally starts to melt from overactivity because that's what it seems to be doing?", "Do I start weeping?"
All very serious considerations. All of them I was about to take.
And then...the dizzies. I stood up and nearly fell over. No, this was no head rush, this was my body about to spontaneously combust into a glorious, chocolatey bonfire like that which has never been seen before. We could have made s'mores but the chocolate in those s'mores would have made the entire thing redundant.
I very nearly went home at that point because I was very seriously scared. I mean, what do you do at that point? I would have started screaming but that didn't seem like it would have helped me or anyone else.
My stomach began turning against me, it cramped up slightly, not enough to make me keel over but enough that it was uncomfortably noticeable.
My breathing became erratic and sharp like the dying gasps of a gunshot victim.
Because of the huge crests and troughs of energy that the chocolate brought I became irritable, and at the worst time possible--during the first kids class of the day at the karate school. It was something I couldn’t control and it’s something that I don’t want to have to repeat anytime soon.
What was I to do? Who the heck knew that eating chocolate after thirty days of not having anything remotely like it would do this to me. It’s amazing that the chocolate, this stuff that I used to eat frequently and in much larger quantities, would have this kind of an effect on me seeing as how it never has before, not like this. Really, I should have expected it but it blindsided me totally.
And it wasn’t even that much chocolate, that’s the really astounding thing about it. Normally I would have polished off every last bit of chocolate and probably licked clean the wrapper that it came in. I couldn’t even finish (although at the point that I stopped I didn’t want to finish it). The sheer density of the stuff combined with the guilt (unhealthy, I know) of eating it left me feeling very full very early on in to it.
The Crash
As far as aftereffects go...well, there weren't really any at all. The inevitable crash was avoided by chowing down on half a slice of bread before I came down off of the sugar high. The extra cards kept me going and let me off of the rush slowly replacing it with a calm, steady feeling of normalcy that was much needed and appreciated. Really it was rather anticlimactic which is almost disappointing given the craziness from before.
It’s odd, now that I’ve indulged in something not on the diet plan and felt the effects of something like that I don’t really have the desire to indulge like this anymore. While it was tasty at the time the benefits of the PCP far outweigh having chocolate anytime I want and the very temporary effects of eating that chocolate. The vegetables and fruit have become a wonderful replacement for all of the junk that I used to eat and I have no problem with that. I’m happy about it really.
Coming up tomorrow...the new exercise plan. Prepare to have your jaw drop to the floor like mine did when I first saw it.
2 comments:
Heh. Most people will think you're exaggerating for effect, but I know you're not. I've gone through the same thing.
That moment of pleasure on the lips just isn't worth it anymore.
Everyone should try cutting all sugar for a month and then eat dark chocolate, just to appreciate what that stuff does to a "normal" body. The modern world is so jacked up on sucrose we can't even feel it when we take a hit anymore.
amazing effects eh, and to think I used to inhale a bunch of that with red wine right before bed...no wonder i had such crappy sleeps!!!EEEK!
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