Day 18, Soy protein smoothie

Um, might I say...BLEHCH!

So last Thursday when I was given my new diet plan for this week there was one brand new addition to my daily meals: within twenty minutes after I complete my workout I am to drink 2 spoonfuls of my soy protein powder mixed with water. 

If there was ever any question as to what pure EVIL tastes like then I want you to do this: find some soy protein powder and mix it in with some water, plain water. Enclose yourself in a brightly lit room with no furniture or windows. Sit on the floor and place the glass in front of you and stare at it, long and hard, for this will be the last real thing you will see for the next two and a half hours. If you believe in a god then pray to him or her or it for your own personal safety in the next few hours. If you don't believe in a higher power like that then please, please line the walls with some sort of thick rubber padding because that's about all that will keep you from death. Then, once you've done all of this, drink the brew.

Let me give you a warning:

You will see dark, horrible things that a persons mind was not meant to see in his lifetime. You will know what it is like to feel that your tongue is slowly melting away at the back of your throat only to slowly slide forward out of your mouth and onto the floor and you will wonder, sincerely wonder if that is actually happening or if it's just your mind turning against you. You will wonder that because that is exactly what will be happening to you. Of course, that will be the very least of your worries as you try to find out how to stop the snakes from crawling out your walls and the chimera from sneaking toward you on the ceiling like the baby in Trainspotting.

The safest thing to do at that point would be to curl up into the fetal position and hope that the remaining two hours and fifteen minutes won't be as utterly terrifying as the fifteen minutes you just lived through were while trying to stop the uncontrollable crying.

Now, it sounds like I'm exaggerating but, honestly, I'm really not. It's quite an experience that I imagine can only be replicated by hard drugs of the type that would have been appropriate in one of Hunter S. Thompson's frenzied reporting sessions. It's all so strange really considering that the protein smoothie I have to drink in the evenings is rather tasty and something that I've begun looking forward to during the day. In the evening around 9:30 I drink another protein smoothie but instead of two scoops of the powder I only put one scoop in and I'm also able to put two bananas into the mix. It's a testament to the amazing flavor packed into a single banana.

Well, I'm off to my exercises...and my two scoop protein drink.