So yesterday afternoon left me in a bit of a funk. Like I told you all with Wednesday’s post I was going out to apply for a new job and I did during the early afternoon, around one or so. I got there at the store and went up to their customer service desk to see if I could talk to the person in charge of hiring on new employees. Right then, so early on in this process, things went in a completely different direction than the one I had imagined they would in my head.
I’m sure that this isn’t the case but their answer seemed to me to be a brick wall that shot up right in front of me as I was running toward my goal. Their response was that they didn’t have a dedicated person that handles that particular kind of thing, no instead every so often they do a group interview with potential applicants to decide who they want to hire. I wasn’t aware of this seeing as how nothing I’ve seen at the store or online at their site gave any indication that this was how they did things. Things began to crumble away and my good feelings and bright outlook on the day immediately took a turn. What was I to do? It seemed like I had no option other than to leave them with my application and hope that it got into the hands of someone high up there where it would wow him/her enough that they would call me up regardless of how they, apparently, generally did things there.
I walked out of the place feeling pretty low and despondent. Suddenly it seemed that things would forever remain stagnant and I would be stuck working at a job forever that I didn’t want to do any longer. Of course, there are always other places to work at but this place was somewhere that I could have enjoyed working at and gotten a sense of fulfillment from. There are other places but, and I ask you this very seriously, what the hell is the point of working someplace if you can’t feel good about the work you’re doing and about yourself while you work there. I’m going to be so bold as to say that there is entirely no purpose in doing something like that. Frankly, to me, it would be a waste of ones life, and they’re already so short anyway (like I’m old enough to actually realize that :-) so why do it?
I got home after a quick bit of shopping around (those would be tickets to see The Dark Knight, baby!) and settled in to take of some other things. The mood that I was in was a dangerous one to be in. Bad things could have happened to my progress with the project. Normally I don’t see myself as someone who eats when they’re in low spirits but at that point that was what i was about to turn to. My head wasn’t clear and my mouth and fingers were developing minds of their own, completely separate from the one inside my skull. Food seemed like the place to turn to to ease my dispirited self and I was more than ready to give in to those mindless urges.
But then the progress from these last months kicked in. My hands stopped their idle wanderings and my mouth stopped salivating in anticipation of sweet “pick-me-up” indulgences. I regained control of myself and stopped me from giving in and going overboard with the fruit that I was craving but shouldn’t have eaten at that time. Yes, yes, it was only a bit of fruit but that’s not the point of this at all, the point is is that I could have slipped into some pretty nasty pre-project behavior that could have set me back a ways but I didn’t.
It seems that I have grown the confidence and control to say “no”. One of the simplest and, at the same time, most difficult and complicated things to do. Boy, was it worth it. I’m sitting here now thinking back on it and I sure am proud of myself, even now so far into the project I am still amazed that I’m able to do something that at first glance seems like it would be the easiest thing to do. Congrats to me.
This all brings to mind a quote that I may have mentioned way back but one that I’ll repeat here:
“Do you know that the harder thing to do and the right thing to do are usually the same thing? Nothing that has meaning is easy. ‘Easy’ doesn’t enter into grown-up life.”
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3 comments:
I have found that a good way to curb those cravings and wandering fingers is by making some loose-leaf tea, maybe an herbal or fruit variety if you are craving something sweet. Simply going through the process of making the tea and enjoying the intense aroma you get from loose-leaf is usually enough to nip any cravings I may have in butt.
On a sort of (but not really) related note: a great "sinful" indulgence that isn't all that sinful is a tea sangria. It is pretty self-explanatory, but in case you want a recipe here is a link:
http://www.teamuse.com/article_010602.html
Most people who read this won't understand the satisfaction you speak of, the satisfaction of "no." It's an entirely different feeling from the satisfaction of "yes," and something very few of us ever do these days.
Fast food, credit cards, portable gadgets, they're all instilling in us the feeling that if we want it now, by damn we should have it now.
Not doing something now is a great feeling sometimes, and stops you from making stupid choices.
Anyway, sorry about the job interview.
Sean,
Don't let protocol stop you from getting the job you want. I suggest giving it a few days and stopping in to see if anyone has looked at your app. Even if they say no one has, ask if you could setup a time to meet "the group" and interview.
In the worst case scenario you'll find out how strictly protocol they are. If someone did this when applying for a position at my business, I would put them at the top of the stack in a heart beat. The demonstration to show vigor for a position goes a long way and is worth way more than someone who may claim to be highly qualified for the position.
And yes, congrats, Sean. It feels great to be in control of yourself. Don't indulge! Work hard! It's the only way you are going to feel good about your progress.
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