Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Day 84, Ruh-roh

These waning days are having an odd effect on me. Curse me and my lethargic ways!

I’ve very oddly been feeling less and less inclined to pay attention to what I’m eating throughout the day and how much exercising I should be doing during my normal workout times. Bad, bad, yes I realize. I shouldn’t be letting these final days of the project effect my thinking and all of the work that I’ve put into myself over these last three months--nothing would be worse for me if I just let the excitement of finishing this thing turn my thinking into something lazy and wholly un-PCP like.

That would certainly be a tragedy.

And I’m not entirely sure what brought this about or why exactly it’s been happening, I mean, these last days are, if nothing else, a time when my resolve needs to be as strong as it possibly can be and I need to kick everything into overdrive rather than letting myself sit on the back burner and idle my way through to the end.

I think that this whole feeling of lethargy is due to the day or so when I was physically unable to devote myself entirely to my exercises, when I couldn’t jumprope to save my life. I guess my mind enjoyed that brief respite and longed for more of the same.

I need to tell myself, “No!” Now is when I need to persevere and push on through to the other side of all of this because if I can do that then I will be set for as long as I am able to be. If I let that negative thinking take a hold of me, if I let those thoughts lingering in some dark, dripping area in the back of my head, the ones telling me that skipping out on my exercises would be okay, then everything will have been...well, not entirely pointless, but not too far off that mark.

Send me some confidence. Help me and David and Corry through these last few days. Keep us strong, energized, and focused because, oddly enough, the end of this project is no real downhill slide, it’s just as demanding as any other bit.

It’s nice to think that we’ll have accomplished something, though. Smiles abound!

2 comments:

Nate said...

Keep rocking it Sean! you can do it man. Remember it is OK to take it easy sometimes but don't settle either. You have changed your lifestyle now whether you like it or not, and you have been doing a great job sticking to it. I know you can do it man. You have a real encouragement to me and all your others readers for your honesty in this struggle and pulling through!

Patrick said...

Just get moving. Thinking about doing exercise is always harder than actually doing it. Your whole project will be tainted if you go out on a whimper.