Day 85, Not quite an "indulgence"

But I think for these purposes here that it’ll do just fine, folks.

The indulgence I’m speaking of is soy yogurt. Yes, soy yogurt, wonderful and creamy, filled with fruity goodness and able to stuff my stomach full like no other snack type item I’ve yet to discover.

For a long while after I became a vegetarian the prospect of a soy yogurt kind of food was a foolish man’s pipe dream--I dared not to even dream that such a thing existed and I resigned myself to my future of a yogurtless existence. Hard as that was I persevered and lived on, hoping that one day the soy gods would grace me with some creamy, fruity goodness.

And then I came across the farmer’s market about five minutes away from my house. It was, first of all, a wonderful find for me because now I do a lot of my shopping there since I’m able to find everything my vegan body needs there, and then some. (Although, I must say, rather embarrassedly, that I was surprised that they sold meat there. Ah, the hilarity of my youthful naivete, “What? Why is a farmer’s market selling meat?! I thought they weren’t into all of that. My world is being rocked!”). Strolling around those aisles led me to their dairy section which contained, among some other vegetarian items, this little bit of some sort of heaven:



This is the peach flavor cup but they also come in Plain, Vanilla, Raspberry, Strawberry, Cherry, Lemon, Blueberry, Apricot Mango, Strawberry Banana, and Mixed Berry. So far I’ve only had the pleasure of tasting the Apricot Mango, Strawberry, Blueberry, Cherry, Peach, and Vanilla flavors but each one has been it’s own unique delight.

Obviously, being vegan, it’s free of saturated fat, cholesterol, lactose, and it’s gluten free so even if you’re not a vegan or vegetarian it’s a wonderfully healthy substitute to cow’s milk yogurt. Frankly, if memory serves, I think it tastes much better as well. Right off you notice the taste--sweet, it’s very sweet and the flavor hits you like a battering ram in full force right away. It’s very smooth and creamy and it’s a sensory delight to swirl it about in your mouth, to let it play over your tongue and seep between your teeth and feel it cool every corner of the inside of your mouth.



It’s very high in calcium, about 30% DV, and it’s sugar and sodium level are some of the lowest you can find in a yogurt so all of that is definitely a plus. It’s pretty affordably priced, too, and can come in between a dollar to a dollar-fifty a cup, depending on where you shop (I like to splurge a bit and by several whenever I’m at the store because, honestly, they go so quickly and they’re quite addicting).

So if you happen upon a cup of this lovely goodness go ahead and give it a try. A lot of you may be a bit skeptical and hesitant to try it since it is a soy product but, as I said before, it’s smooth and creamy and not at all gritty or chalky as some soy products can be. So give it a try, I can almost guarantee that you won’t be disappointed.

Day 55, Further proof

That while indulging in the off limits stuff of life can be fun that it certainly isn’t something that I really want to do anymore. Yesterday was my second indulgence day and I’ll tell you right off that it was one of the more anticlimactic things that I’ve ever experienced.

This time I decided to go with my first choice and instinct and revisit an old favorite of mine from before the beginning of the project, Tofutti Cuties and chocolate Silk. In my recollection the Cuties, these mini sized vegan ice cream sandwiches were the stuff dreams are made of: sweet, rich, cool, just the right amount of chocolate covering a thick block of soft, creamy ice cream and the chocolate Silk, well, I remember living on the stuff for days at a time. So that’s what I binged on, two Tofutti Cuties and a couple of small glasses of the Silk.



The Tofutti Cuties

Right off the bat I can tell that something is definitely not right going on in my mouth and on my tongue. Something is different. And then I know what it is, gone is the blind stuffing of food into my mouth and is replaced with knowledge. Scary knowledge. It is apparent to me that what I’m eating is no longer a vanilla ice cream block sandwiched between two layers of chocolate.



No, what I’m now stuffing into my mouth is an amalgam of chemicals and strange and artificial ingredients, many of whose names I will never have any hopes of being able to pronounce. It is not how I remember them tasting. Certainly they are sweet but now they are almost too sweet and after the first one the intensity of the vanilla ice cream mixed with the layers of chocolate I couldn’t imagine eating another one, but I did for the sake of science, yes, science.

The Chocolate Silk

Nothing special here. For the most part it is exactly how I remember it, it has that distinctly Silky taste mixed with a hint of chocolate.



But, again, something was odd. Something was off and like with the Cuties it took me a while to figure out what it was, and then it hit me: it wasn’t as intense as I remember, in fact it was almost bland and tasteless. That didn’t make any sense to me at all since these indulgence days tend to make noticeable how intensely chemically flavor packed everything I used to eat is. But the Silk was different, it wasn’t as intense as I could have sworn it used to be. It just goes to prove that a whole lot of this project, especially these indulgence days, is mental and not just physical, which is what it would appear to be at first glance.

The Effects

There was an almost immediate discomfort when I tried to stand up and walk around and I didn’t think until after I had eaten all of that stuff that I probably shouldn’t have done this before I went off for a full day of work where I would have to stand and move around teaching multitudes of children for six hours. I became much more intensely full after eating that stuff than I get after eating a regular PCP meal which only added to the overall feeling of discomfort. If there was a sugar rush then I hardly felt it and it certainly wasn’t as intense as after my last indulgence day which was quite a relief since that last one made me fear for my life. Luckily there wasn’t much of a crash but I did wish that I hadn’t forgotten to bring my dinner to work to eat and regain my normal feeling of alertness and regular, sustainable energy. Live and learn, eh?

All of this proved to me, once again, that I don’t need these foods to have a normal, healthy diet and day. Whereas at one point I couldn’t imagine going a single day without all of this stuff now I couldn’t wait for it to pass through me so that I could get back to my newly normal self. It’s ingraining new habits into me even as I’m indulging in my old ones and, like I’ve said before, those habits are what’s really important to me now and the best thing I could ever hope to get out of the project.

Have a wonderful day, kind ladies and sirs.

Day 49, Help me out a little

So this is the moment you all have been waiting for, I know I’ve been wondering when this would happen again and out of the clear blue sky, like some kind of crazy coincidence, it’s here:

Indulgence Day, Part Deux!

I’ve got to tell you, though, I’m a little bit wary of these things seeing as how my last encounter with one of these gave me a slight hint as to what my death might feel like. If you think I’m exaggerating there then feel free to read about my experience with dark chocolate, Day 30, Decadent Indulgence.

I’ll give this one a chance, though, and keep an open mind about what could potentially happen. I’ll also have to lock myself into my room in case I go temporarily insane and start writhing around while screaming and cursing the heavens.

But I’m at a loss here. I’m up for another indulgence day, more out of intellectual curiosity than for a day to enjoy something previously off limits, but for the life of me I can’t think of what to indulge on. It’s very annoying since the last one came so easily.

So I’m here now asking for your help, people. Help me come up with something unique and interesting to indulge on. Help me find something that normally wouldn’t come to mind as something that a person normally stray away from.

I do have a few ideas but I wanted to check with everyone else first because perhaps you guys have a clearer head than I do and would be able to think of something less boring. So far I’ve come up with,

Tofutti Cuties



Before the project I used to have one or two of these a day sometimes and I always loved the stuff, mostly because it was the first vegan ice cream I was able to find easily that didn’t taste like cold, bland styrofoam. I’m leaning more toward these as of this moment because I’m feeling a little nostalgic for their creamy, chocolatey goodness but we’ll see.

Vegan Sloppy Joes



Yes, that picture isn't of a vegan sloppy joe but I couldn't find any if those sitting around on the internet so whatever. Same situation here, I used to eat these all the time because they were easy to cook up and they were tasty tasty tasty. I’d heat up some Yves vegan ground...stuff and combine it with the Manwich sauce and then BOOM! good eats.

My last idea was just to cook up a nice pre-PCP Sunday night family dinner using stuff that I used to have all of the time before I started the project but I’m thinking that that wouldn’t be in the spirit of Indulgence Day at all and, while nice, it wouldn’t really give me any more reason to stay away from all of those indulgent foods that I used to eat all the time. And that’s the real purpose of these days.

I’ll try and put more thought into this but, please, help me out, you all are far more imaginative than I am.

Day 40, Almost kind of. . .

Halfway done, kind of.

I’ve gotten to the point where my mind is taking me on some weird fork in the road where it seems to think that it can do whatever it wants to at points during the day, usually about an hour after my morning exercises when I’ve refocused on the world, no longer happily delirious from the workout, fresh as a daisy. At that point my body’s had time to cycle the endorphins brought on by the exercise through my body, I’ve taken my daily photo and uploaded it, taken a shower, and had my post-workout smoothie and eaten my lunch. So by that time I’m feeling wonderfully sore and mellow.

I’ve noticed lately though that I’ve taken to snacking on raisins, figs, apricots, etc. throughout the day, sometimes out of boredom, but mostly because I think I’ve recently and unconsciously developed these weird thoughts like, “A few raisins won’t hurt” and “A couple of crackers during the day, who going to know?”

Now those concerns might not seem like anything to really be, well, concerned about, I mean, raisins and apricots? I’m certainly not gorging on those things all day so what’s the problem? Well, mostly nothing but there is something of a psychological danger there, I think. If I keep doing something like indulging on a few extra grams of raisins or prunes during the day then there is a possibility that slowly my progress with the project may shift off course.

But more dangerously, those small indulgences may over time develop into a full blown indulgence habit that will spin way out of control until, gasp, I’m right back where I’m started! Horror of horrors. I have a feeling that I’m overreacting here, I mean I’d have to really fall off the wagon here for me to turn a bad corner and end up in my pre-PCP lethargic, bulgy state. So should I worry my silly little head about all of this?

Let me answer that one for all of you: No.

While taking in that stuff all of the time would be bad for me it’s certainly not like I am taking in that stuff all the time every day. I really shouldn’t get too hard on myself for some extra raisins during the day because there’s no reason for me not to. They are just raisins, healthy raisins, so there’s nothing there that’s going to ruin the project for me.

Now if you suddenly find me on a “big indulgence” binge like the kind I might have been found enjoying before the project then definitely, absolutely give me a big slap in the face and tell me to snap back to to my senses because that’s not the kind of person I want to be anymore.

In the meantime join me on looking forward to the big halfway point of the project coming up super soon. Exciting.

Day 30, Decadent indulgence

The Indulgence

So-o-o-o, yesterday was indulgence day. And what a day! For my non-PCP food I chose to have a few pieces of 72% cocoa dark chocolate since that’s basically the only chocolate that I can eat anymore that I don’t have to shop at an obscure health food store to find.



The box comes filled with eighteen bite-sized pieces but to stay within the 400 calorie limit I only ate ten pieces of the chocolate putting my calorie intake at the high end of 300.



The taste? Interesting, to say the least, and not at all like I remember it tasting in the past. After not having eaten anything at all like it for the last thirty days my memory of the stuff was dull and faded, my taste buds unused to the intense chocolate-iness. It was intensely sweet, and at the same time bittersweet, making for an odd combination of tasty sensations bombarding my brain. It was so strong that the first few bites and pieces attacked my mouth, making my tongue and the back of my throat feel like they were burning almost (that from only 72% cocoa, I shudder to think what 85% would do to me...or even 80%).



The first thing that hit me while I was eating was how worried I was that eating even this little bit of chocolate would ruin all of the hard work I’ve done so far for the PCP. Even though I hadn't totally binged on the stuff I felt bad about eating it. I knew at the time that I would only have to work out for, what, a day to get back to where I was but still, it feels like I lost a full day, like I might as well have not exercised for that day instead of eating the chocolate.

The First Noticeable Sensations

About a half hour after I had eaten the chocolate I went to a nearby supermarket to return some moldy bread (by the way, moldy bread is not a nice surprise). Walking through the aisles to find a replacement loaf startled my legs into a frenzy that I haven't felt in...I don't know how long. Certainly not like this, anyway. It seemed that I could literally feel the muscles of my legs underneath my skin twitching and pulsing along to both the rhythm of my heart and, because of the chocolate, the uneven stride I was taking because of the sudden, intense rush of sugar and carbohydrates.

I was zipped, I was wired, I was a hummingbird after a huge meal of flower nectar. It felt like my heart was throwing itself against the inside of my ribcage, turning a lump-lump into a great, resounding BANG-BOOM! There seemed to be a giant inside of my chest beating his way out with his meaty fists, angry at his forced imprisonment. My mind became a young Russell Terrier, starved of attention, in a backyard full of butterflies and young children.

I was atwitter with energy and had nothing to spend it on being stuck in my truck driving to work (which is an amazingly effective depressant when flying high on a stimulant as potent as chocolate).

About an hour after I had eaten the chocolate my heart sped up even more, which seemed to be an unhealthy thing at that point. My heart doesn't usually beat like that unless my brain has just signalled my body to release a massive amount of adrenaline. That's not supposed to happen when you're just sitting around doing nothing but listening to music.

Worry, at that point, overwhelmed me. I had expected some craziness to occur but nothing as great as what actually started happening to me. Weird, troublesome thoughts abounded, "Do I lay down and do nothing until this thing passes?", "Do I check myself into the hospital in case my heart literally starts to melt from overactivity because that's what it seems to be doing?", "Do I start weeping?"

All very serious considerations. All of them I was about to take.

And then...the dizzies. I stood up and nearly fell over. No, this was no head rush, this was my body about to spontaneously combust into a glorious, chocolatey bonfire like that which has never been seen before. We could have made s'mores but the chocolate in those s'mores would have made the entire thing redundant.

I very nearly went home at that point because I was very seriously scared. I mean, what do you do at that point? I would have started screaming but that didn't seem like it would have helped me or anyone else.

My stomach began turning against me, it cramped up slightly, not enough to make me keel over but enough that it was uncomfortably noticeable.

My breathing became erratic and sharp like the dying gasps of a gunshot victim.

Because of the huge crests and troughs of energy that the chocolate brought I became irritable, and at the worst time possible--during the first kids class of the day at the karate school. It was something I couldn’t control and it’s something that I don’t want to have to repeat anytime soon.

What was I to do? Who the heck knew that eating chocolate after thirty days of not having anything remotely like it would do this to me. It’s amazing that the chocolate, this stuff that I used to eat frequently and in much larger quantities, would have this kind of an effect on me seeing as how it never has before, not like this. Really, I should have expected it but it blindsided me totally.

And it wasn’t even that much chocolate, that’s the really astounding thing about it. Normally I would have polished off every last bit of chocolate and probably licked clean the wrapper that it came in. I couldn’t even finish (although at the point that I stopped I didn’t want to finish it). The sheer density of the stuff combined with the guilt (unhealthy, I know) of eating it left me feeling very full very early on in to it.

The Crash

As far as aftereffects go...well, there weren't really any at all. The inevitable crash was avoided by chowing down on half a slice of bread before I came down off of the sugar high. The extra cards kept me going and let me off of the rush slowly replacing it with a calm, steady feeling of normalcy that was much needed and appreciated. Really it was rather anticlimactic which is almost disappointing given the craziness from before.

It’s odd, now that I’ve indulged in something not on the diet plan and felt the effects of something like that I don’t really have the desire to indulge like this anymore. While it was tasty at the time the benefits of the PCP far outweigh having chocolate anytime I want and the very temporary effects of eating that chocolate. The vegetables and fruit have become a wonderful replacement for all of the junk that I used to eat and I have no problem with that. I’m happy about it really.


Coming up tomorrow...the new exercise plan. Prepare to have your jaw drop to the floor like mine did when I first saw it.