Day 90, Done.

...And, yet, I’m just beginning.

(Please do note that I will be adding more pictures as the week goes on so please stick with me and enjoy the celebration)

Wow, I almost don’t have words enough for this post. Funny that for the first time in all of these 90 days with all of the hundreds, possibly thousands, of words and experiences and ideas that finishing something that’s been such a huge part of my life for the past three months has left me nearly speechless. But perhaps I’m grasping for something deep when that really isn’t necessary. No, I think that I’ll just celebrate with you all, give myself a good and hearty pat on the back, and let the thanks, acknowledgments, reflections, and future plans fly as high as I am right now.

Speaking of celebrations, I just remembered that about this time last year was when I first decided to become a vegan. It was about mid-August and I had just finished watching a movie called Earthlings which is all undercover video taken at factory farms, science labs, circuses, etc. and is free to watch on Google Video. I’m especially proud of that commitment I’ve made and I’m looking forward to how the next year and years will turn out. Whoo!

I’ve got to thank Patrick first and foremost. Without him and his example and guidance I never would have taken the first step toward improving myself like this, in fact, I’m absolutely positive that I would still, at this very moment, be stuck on a couch wiling away my life with all of the horribly unhealthy habits that so possessed me and my daily life before the project. Without him I would never have broken those crippling, destructive habits that dictated my life and kept me in a perpetual state of sloth. Without him I never would have built the knowledge and habits that are so present in me right now and that will stick with me for the rest of my life--a long life, I’m sure now, because of all of the beneficial effects the Peak Condition Project has had on me.

So thank you, Patrick, you do truly rock. Your unfailing enthusiasm never ceases to amaze me. You’ve taught me more about myself, and from so many miles away, than I could ever have hoped to learn.

My fellow PCPers, Corry and David, well, We Did It! I almost didn’t think that we’d be celebrating this day together that’s how much I got to myself in the early days of the project but you two, man, you two helped pull me through the tough times I was having at the beginning by your optimism and all of the gentle and inspirational support. Your words, in your comments and in your own blogs, gave me something to anchor myself to. You guys were my lifeline that I could climb up on whenever I was sinking. You two helped me keep my head above the murky depths of my own self-doubt and made me able to skim on the surface of this great ocean of improvement.

You two are beautiful people and I won’t be able to forget you guys or what you gave to me, never asking for anything in return. I’ve so much enjoyed our journey here together and I so hope to keep hearing from you guys as time goes on past these tough days of the Project. Despite the distance separating us three, I believe we were a team in the best sense of the word--a stable support for all of our ups and downs and some of the best cheering sections we could ever hope for. Thank you, thank you.

And everybody, both online and in my personal life, who followed our journey through our blogs and offered help and support and advice, well, this simply wouldn’t have been possible without all of you. All of you out there in the wild land of the internet who kept up with us all the way through the project, and even those who came and went and maybe came back, kept us going. You gave me a reason and a drive to keep going, to keep sharing my experiences with you, to keep you all in my life. I would never have forgiven myself if I had quit on all of you sometime in the middle of the Project because it didn’t feel as if you were simply just unknown eyes scanning through the sometimes random and incomprehensible tales I set before you, no, I felt as if there was a conduit linking me to all of you, like we were one and the same and if I quit and let myself down then I would be letting all of you down and there was no way that I could do that.

Thank you all from the bottom of me.

- - -

So what did I learn from all of this?

My body can take and do a heck of a lot more than I ever thought it could. I was never out of shape and by the time the Project started I was considering myself a pretty fit person, certainly not in top physical condition but healthy and strong. Boy was I wrong. There was so much more to me just hiding under all of that fat under my skin and lining whatever muscle I did have and the Project showed me that all I had to do was take a little time out of my day, put some effort into myself, and believe that I could be better than I already was.

Boy did I come out a believer in myself. I now know that I am capable of so much more than I would have thought of at first and even now I can see that I am capable of improving myself and becoming so much better than I am at this point. I’m capable of anything.

I’ve learned that jumproping takes a little practice to get into (and squatting jumpropes even more so) but once you do it’s as if a whole new world opens up for you. I never thought I would have enjoyed a “classic” workout (read, not karate related) as much as I did. It started out as a bit of a love-hate relationship but by now...it’s all love, baby. I love the feel of the jumprope in my hands and how I feel after a couple thousand jumps and the sharp snap of the rope on the floor. It’s wonderful and I would recommend it to absolutely anyone.

I’ve learned that I love fruit. Before the project I was already into fruit but now, after three months of having to eat it every single day, I dig biting into the stuff so much that I can’t imagine going a day without it. I especially love papaya spears and pineapple rounds and if you ever happen upon any of those, my fair readers, then hop on the bandwagon and ride it straight on through to amazing taste city.

Surprisingly it does not take much money at all to get in the very best shape of your life. I spent only, maybe, a hundred dollars on everything (jumprope, resistance bands, blender, scale, etc.) and I wasn’t being frugal by any means. Gyms are not necessary at all and there is a particular kind of satisfaction that comes with getting into just as good a shape as those who spend thousands a year on gym memberships that they hardly use and at places where the employees hardly care whether you succeed or fail. In fact, I would go so far as to say that they’re rooting for you to fail just so that you will keep paying up on your gym membership plans (and the personal trainers they keep trying to talk you into).

Making close to (probably) 300 soy protein smoothies within a 90 day period will make you a master smoothie craftsman. I can make them in my sleep now, I’m sure, and they all taste delish. My nightly banana infused smoothies are something that I will continue to make because they are oh so tasty. Let me tell you, if you ever plan on making a fruit smoothie then please add a banana in the mix, it will make it so much thicker and tastier. You can thank me later about that.

Ah, the very last "Project" banana smoothie. I'll miss those the most, I think.

The strength of your body directly impacts how you live and how much you get out of life. Simply enough: a strong, healthy body will produce a healthy, happy life while a sluggish, fatty body will make life miserable.

Nearly all of the Project is mental. Patrick put it best when he said that the project is 90% mental and only 10% physical. The hardest part about the project is getting over the hurdles you set up for yourself. The thing is though, that, your body desperately wants to get over those hurdles--it craves it--all you have to do is give it the means to do it and BAM! your body will do things you never thought possible and will consistently surprise and please you. Give yourself a chance.

These satisfactions are permanent.

- - -

There doesn’t seem to be much more for me to say here that I haven’t already said right now and over the past 90 days so I’ll end with looking towards the future.

My Post-PCP Plans

The 29 Olympics started just at the end of this Project and has inspired me to become even more healthy than I already am and greater than I imagined myself could ever be. It’s been a huge inspiration seeing those people who have trained for so long to be the best they could be and to be as strong as they could be that I want to follow in their footsteps, so to speak.

I’ve mentioned before that I have a bike, a very nice Specialized number, hanging upside down from big black hooks in my garage. I’ve never put much effort into riding it which has been a shame. I want to do something about that.

I’m working on developing a post-Project Project for myself that will have me becoming one with that bike and have me driving myself to a better condition than I am even now.

My PCP blog will be up for ever and I want to tell you all about the struggles and triumphs I will have as I go from a very novice rider to, hopefully, someone very skilled, in shape, and driven to be as good as I possibly can be. I’ll be starting off slow around the neighborhood and will build myself up to zooming around the town, with all of its hills and straight, smooth paths, until I’m able to compete with the big guys (possibly, probably). I want to share that experience with all of you, possibly in a weekly posting (that's the plan, at least) with all of the routes I’ve taken and my experiences with those rides, how I’m adjusting to it all, my thoughts on everything, etc., because I know that you will give me the support I need to keep myself on the path to my goal.

Thank you in advance for all of that.

It seems that I’ve said what I wanted to say here. I’ll be putting up as many pictures as I can and I hope that you’ll all be coming back to check those out as they come up.

This is me, signing off for now. This has been an adventure I will never forget.

Thank you all. Have a nice day.

Day 89, Nearly there...

It almost felt like this time would never come but here we are, one day away from Day 90, one day away from completing this three month odyssey, one day away from satisfaction and having completed something that I didn’t think I would be able to complete.

I’m feeling pretty good about it, not nearly as good as I will on Wednesday knowing that I won’t have to write another blog post for all of you. I mean, I enjoyed my time here on this blog but this was one of the absolute hardest parts of the project for me. I am totally proud of myself for having consistently kept up with this blog, writing a post every single day of this project. I didn’t think I’d be able to do that--I thought that I may get through a month of this and then cool things down to maybe three or four a week. That might certainly have been easier on me but I don’t think I would have gotten the same sense of satisfaction if I did that. This whole journey on this blog have almost been a project within a project--can I keep up a daily log of my experiences? I think I did pretty well on that count.

I think I will be missing the structure of my meals and having everything laid out for me. It was kind of weird to consider that essentially I was being told what to eat every day since I haven’t had to do that for the last twenty or twenty-one years. Sure there was a lot of room for variation and experimentation but if stayed within the confines of the gram measurements and didn’t go overboard on the weekends then, well, I would succeed. It’s going to take a lot of self-control to keep myself from slipping back into habits from before the project that are still lingering way, way deep down in some dark crevasse inside of me. I’ve said it numerous times before, though, that these habits that I’ve developed during the project will also be difficult to break, and I don’t want to break them.

So I should be good there.

The interaction between everyone on these blogs has been wonderful and I know for a fact that I would have crumbled very early on if it weren’t for the support from my fellow PCPers and those people reading and commenting on my blog. Thanks for all of the wonderful advice, it’s all something I will cherish forever and take with me into my daily life as something to live by.

It’s all so wonderful and I hardly have the right words, or enough of them, to truly tell all of you how much I appreciate your help. You’re all awesome.

Have a fantastic day.

:-)

Day 46, So begineth...

The second half, sirs and ladies. It certainly has been interesting and difficult, and rewarding and a big learning experience, and frustrating and exhilarating, depressing, fulfilling, tasty, tiring, muscley.

Those first few weeks had me worried, I must tell you. I can’t believe that I made it past those arduous days where everything was changing and my body and my days were becoming radically different in such a short time. I wasn’t ready for it, looking back on it now at the time it felt like I wasn’t ready to change. I fought it at every turn when I should have been riding that wonderful new wave and smiling at all of the changes happening with me.

Eh. Live and learn, right folks?

But then, whoa. Things started to get easier and easier, certainly not any less tiring or challenging but it felt like I was growing and adapting to all of the changes. I was becoming used to the speed that my body was traveling at while at the same time, unconsciously, preparing myself for all of the future changes (that are still at this very moment happening).

These times are exhilarating and I’m enjoying nearly every minute of it now, I mean, except for those freaking v-sits and chest dips but what are you gonna do? These improvements are rewarding and definitely empowering. I’m not sure what switch inside of me suddenly decided to flip itself on a while back but, boy, am I glad that it chose to and at the most perfect moment.

I want to thank all of you faithful readers (and the occasional ones, too) for the support so far. Without you guys along with Patrick, David, and Corry then I would have been lost weeks ago. I have no doubt in my mind that without the pushing that you all have given me then I would be sitting here right now, chips in hand wishing that I had stuck with it instead of buckling under the pressure I was putting on myself.

So it’s been an exciting and interesting forty-six days so far, let’s have an equally wonderful final month and a half. Good luck to you, David and Corry, and have the most wonderful day all of you readers. You’re what makes this whole thing possible.

Day 11, Add a dash of doubt

Breaking deeply ingrained tendencies is difficult work.

First, let it be known that I want to do this. I want to see this project through to the end. I want to become better and stronger and healthier.

But man have these first weeks been getting to me. I'm sure that it all has to do with the whole suddenness of the project--I didn't know about my acceptance into the PCP until maybe five days before it started and I was, and still am, excited about it all but I have not had the foresight to mentally prepare myself for all of the changes and struggles that something like the PCP can bring.

Which brings me to this last Thursday... Thursday when we all received our new diet plans and the messing around was officially done. The real stuff started and we had to get down to the business of cutting down what we eat from day to day.

Sticking to a diet this ridged, or any diet with not a whole lot of wiggle room like the grapefruit diet or the Special K diet, can get tedious. After a few days of eating two to three bowls of Special K then dropping the whole thing and falling back on everything before you started doesn't seem like a bad idea. I'm having problems finding variances in this diet with not trying to overdo anything or eat too much of what I'm not supposed to. I'm having problems finding different, unique recipes for this new diet, what has essentially become a macrobiotic diet for me (the only difference being that I'm cooking the food instead of eating it raw). Without being able to change things about within the diet plan and make new things with what I have to work with something like the PCP seems bigger than Everest and even harder to climb. Of course, that's not to say that I have it any harder than any of the other PCPers just that it's just plain hard.

Which is what made Thursday (and the following days) so interestingly difficult. Truth be told Thursday was the closest I've come to just saying, screw it, and cooking up a bit of rice with some vegan steak strips. At that point I wouldn't have felt bad about that. I don't think I could say for certain what exactly made fight through that, I like to believe it's my Rocky-like spirit and tenacity (maybe I shouldn't put it that way, makes me seem much too full of myself). Plus it would be dangerous to see this project as some scary Russian boxer guy to be beaten instead of a challenge to enjoy and live in and with.

Though, nothing is static, things are always changing, even though things are difficult now they will get easier (and harder and easier and harder...), the hard days will not be hard forever.

So how does one deal with these things when they're brand new and right there in your face? How can you be aware of all of the changes and face them and overcome them without giving up in the process? How can you be mindful of all of these difficulties when you aren't as practiced in being aware of those kinds of things? I'm not sure, but it seems that that's one of the most important parts of the PCP and one of the best things you can take away from something difficult like this.

Send some support, it's always appreciated.

(And I'm sure tomorrow's post will be much cheerier :-)

Day 4, The most cursed of days!

Oh yes. Yes it is.

I've never been able to really explain it but for every diet, exercise plan, project, job, etc. the fourth day of any of those things has always been the most difficult monster day to fight my way through. I have a feeling that it's caused by your body waking up out of the dazed stupor of the first three days of any of those things and saying, "Whoa buddy! What the heck are you doing? Look, I'll forgive you for the past few days, I know you like trying new stuff, but now it's time to stop messing about and get back to business. Now where's that bag of tortilla chips?"

It's very annoying.

I can remember four times in my life where I've tried to get down to a slimmer, muscular figure and every time the fourth day had been my undoing. Although, more accurately, the first two times I just got bored with what I was doing and fell back into old habits. First was following the daily serving sizes on the food labels. Didn't work for me. Second, the Special K diet which was about the closest that I'll ever come to eating cardboard two times a day for a week. Those two seemed to make sense at the time and they did work slightly but at the time I didn't have the drive to see them through to the end (whatever the end was).

The third and fourth times were decidedly more stupid. Third was Christian Bale's diet for "The Machinist" which, depending on where you look, consisted of an apple with cups of coffee throughout the day. As you can see things were getting much more desperate. The last one I tried before the PCP--which was over a year ago so you can see what kind of an effect it had on me--was the fasting diet. I tried to convince myself that only doing it for seven days would be healthier than some Gandhi-esque three week thing but you can see that I wasn't thinking it through clearly. I got through those seven days of constant torture and never tried another crazy fly by night diet again.

For each of those four bouts of delusion (I say "delusion" because I was thinking that they would all magically turn me into something like my hero, Stephen Chow) the fourth day was the most unbearable. That fourth day was when giving up on those things seemed like the best thing I could do for myself which, considering what I was doing, probably would have been a good idea. Ah, the rash thinking of a young teenager, there's really nothing like it.

But things are feeling different with the PCP. For all of its difficulties it's been fairly easy so far and I'm sure it will stay that way as long as I'm always aware of what I'm doing and putting into my body. I'm sure I'm right on target with saying that the hardest part of the PCP, or any diet plan, is the breaking of old habits but with the diet plan Patrick and Chen have us on where we're forced to really think about what we're eating and what we're doing things seem to be just downright peachy.

And I'm learning that no matter how difficult something might be if you stick with it you will be a stronger and better person because of it.

Of course, I can't forget about all of the outside support from you readers and commenters because, well, you guys rock!

This fourth day doesn't seem so bad now.

Day 3, The weekenders

Even before this project started I had been worrying about this day, yes, this particular day. Now I wouldn't say that I've been dreading it but I certainly wasn't feeling totally cool about it either. For as long I've been really aware of what I was eating (since about the time I started high school, when that kind of stuff seemed to matter. Superficially, I see now) I've also been aware of how consistently difficult the weekends have been when it comes to watching what I eat. For me the weekends, nearly every single one of them, have been a challenge to keep myself from going overboard. It has been consistently difficult to keep myself from letting my attention slip away from what I was putting into a bowl and letting myself overindulge in the worst kind of way. For the most part that was my weekend routine: a whole lot of food in big bowls followed by a whole heaping, heavy feeling of guilt afterwards that was as difficult to get over as the uncomfortable feeling I got from shoveling all of that food into my body. It's something about all of the free time I have during the weekends and the general laziness of those days when there's nothing much to be done, it's very conducive to stuffing my cheeks like a chipmunk during the wintertime.

There's been many a time when my afternoon has looked exactly like that, except without, you know, the fur.

Of course I realize that I'm only into my third day of the Peak Condition Project but I think it's safe to say that this fresh realization as I'm knee deep in the PCP will guarantee that I'm going to be hyper-aware of what I'm putting into my breakfast, lunch, and dinner bowl from now on. I'm also sure that by the time August 15th rolls around those horrible weekend eating habits of my past will have been replaced by healthy PCP eating habits. Instead of mindlessly stuffing myself with the worst and fattiest junk that the food industry has to offer I will have developed the kind of eating habits that will keep me slim, healthy, and happy.

And, you know, I am very excited about that. In many ways I think that is going to be the most meaningful and important thing that I get out of this project, not just a muscular, good looking body but a better knowledge of myself and a mindset that will keep me strong and healthy for the rest of my life.

And, really, who wouldn't want that?